How to survive work when you haven’t slept a wink image

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Posted On: 29 May, 2017

How to survive work when you haven’t slept a wink

When you were a young, sprightly thing it was really easy to go out-out on a school night. You'd arrive at the office (complete with a bacon sarnie) feeling fine and dandy. Nowadays? Not so much. Hangovers last days, not hours, and you actually have work to do, which doesn't bode well with a lack of sleep. Here's how to survive work on no shut-eye...


HOW DO YOU SURVIVE A NIGHT OF THIS....


AND THEN DO THIS...

Jim Carrey typing

WHEN YOU'VE HAD NONE OF THIS...


EASY! OK FIRST, SHOWER. YOU NEED TO HAVE A SHOWER. YOU STINK OF BOOZE.

Shower

STAND THERE AND LET THE WATER WASH AWAY THE SINS FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE...

cat showering

WHEN YOU CHOOSE YOUR CLOTHES, GO FOR SOMETHING INCONSPICUOUS SO THE BOSS WON'T NOTICE YOU GOING TO THE TOILET TEN MILLION TIMES...

hiding

STOP BY A LOCAL CAFE ON THE WAY TO WORK AND HAVE ANYTHING THAT INCLUDES EGGS. IT'LL HELP.

Eggs

NEXT: CAFFEINE


THEN: WATER. BY THE BUCKET LOAD.

water

SNEAKILY TURN YOUR DESK PHONE OFF. YOU CAN'T BE HAVING ANY OF THAT NOISE.

phone

MAKE POLITE CHIT CHAT WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES BUT DON'T TELL THEM YOU'RE TIRED. MAKE OUT LIKE YOU'RE FEELING UNDER THE WEATHER. THE BOSS MIGHT SEND YOU HOME.

ill

COUGH A LOT. NO ONE WANTS THOSE GERMS.

cough

WHEN YOU GO TO THE LOO, REST THAT FOREHEAD OF YOURS AGAINST THE COLD, CRISP MIRROR. IT'S JOY LIKE NO OTHER...


DON'T CHECK YOUR PHONE. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE REMINDED OF ANYTHING YOU DID LAST NIGHT. SHAME AND A LACK OF SLEEP IS NOT A GOOD MIX.


PLAY LOUD MUSIC TO KEEP YOU AWAKE. TURN THAT VOLUME UP!

music

FOR LUNCH GO FOR SOMETHING WRONG (BUT OH SO RIGHT)

burger

IF YOU'VE GOT AN AFTERNOON OF MEETINGS JUST NOD A LOT...

nodding

AT 3PM IT'S TIME FOR THAT BEROCCA BOOST...

berocca

BUT BE WARNED: YOU MIGHT START TO FEEL A LITTLE BIT CRAZY...

crazy typing

NEXT: CLOCK WATCH. IT'S ALMOST HOME TIME.


HURRAY! IT'S HOME TIME! YOU'VE ONLY GOT ONE THING LEFT TO DO: GO HOME AND DO THIS...


YOU'VE DECIDED: YOU'RE NEVER GOING OUT AGAIN. WELL, UNTIL NEXT WEEK.

wink


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